Introduction - A Bit About Dad

Introduction


Pregnancy has to be the most frightening yet incredible experience of our human existence. I’m not sure there is any single event that two people can share that would have the lifelong, life altering impact and implications that accompany bringing a new life into the world that we live in. A world that is filled with sickness, death, violence, fear, corruption, the list goes on, as everyone who turns on the TV or flips through a newspaper already knows. And as if the world outside isn’t frightening enough, there is the internal flurry of thoughts, emotions, anxieties and fears of inadequacies that accompany the realization that your life is no longer about YOU, but about the blessing (or curse as some people view it) that is soon to arrive. Then on top of all that, there are the financial responsibilities that accompany raising a child; diapers, formula, groceries, crib, car seats, strollers, the list goes on and more expensive as the child grows.

With all of these thoughts and fears racing on and then add in ones own selfishness and ambitions to live THEIR life THEIR way, it’s no wonder why so many children are left with one parent or abandoned by both as the ones who gave them life flee from responsibility and accountability, to what they believe will be an easier “self-filled” existence, only to find down the road that the life they’re now living is in utter turmoil and emotional distress filled with guilt and bitterness. Don’t get me wrong here, I have no problems with giving a child up for adoption to a family that is in a more capable position to raise a child, it’s the abandonment situations where a child is left neglected or becomes a ward of that state that I am referring to.

When I found out that my 16 year old girlfriend was pregnant, my first thought was one solely based on fear. “RUN!” I wanted to run as far and as fast as I could, to flee from any responsibility that may land at my feet. But that was one part of me. The other side of me was full of deep denial. My thought was that maybe if I didn’t think about it, it wasn’t real. There’s no baby, I mean really, come on, we’re 16 years old, how can we possibly be responsible for a new life when we haven’t even experienced life for ourselves. Then fear set in along with the thought that my life was over. Followed by endless thoughts of not being able to handle or live up to my new role of being a Dad.

Looking back 9 years at that scared, frightened teenager whose world was about to get completely rocked, all I can do is thank God for the strength and determination to keep moving forward. It has definitely not been an easy road, nor is the road ahead going to be easy but no one ever said that life was going to be easy. A life worth living is hard.

I probably should tell you something about myself seeing as that is the title of this post. I live in a small town north of Toronto in Ontario, Canada. That girlfriend I mentioned became my wife on December 25 2003 and I love her to death. She is an amazing mother, wife and my best friend. Our marriage is not without its strife but we are committed to each other and to our future. I’ve always been told that anything worth having is worth fighting for and that statement absolutely true with my marriage.

We now have four children, which makes for a very busy house and I think we have finally discovered what causes the whole pregnancy thing and I’m happy to say that our forth will be our last.

Liam is our first born and just turned 9 in July (I still can’t believe he is almost a decade old). Next is Aidan who turned 7 in April, followed by our only daughter and princess, Makenzie who is 4 and will be starting junior kindergarten in September and last is Cole who will be turning 2 next month. For those reading this that have my caliber of math skills that makes my wife and I both 26. Yes we are young to have four kids and yes it definitely comes with its struggles and difficulties but being a Dad is truly an awesome experience and we get to learn and grow along with our kids.

With that said, I highly recommend to any teenager out there who is considering becoming sexually active to wait until you are absolutely sure you are ready to handle ANY consequences or possible outcomes to your action (not just pregnancy but be aware of STI’s as well as other dangerous situations you could find yourself in that could leave you emotionally and/or physically scared for life). Always protect and lookout for yourself because if you don’t, no one else will. Being a teen parent is no easy road to travel. Being a teen is hard enough today without the extra weight of raising a child.

I wanted to make that point clear but in the end that is not the main focus of this blog. This blog is to support Dads. All Dads, young or well, not as young, planned or unplanned, this is meant to be an encouragement to men to own up to your responsibility as a parent. I’m not saying you have rush into marriage or give up your dreams and goals for the future, I’m simply saying take a stand, accept the consequences for your actions and raise your child to the best of your abilities. Your future plans and the way you thought life would work out may have to shift but I guarantee that this is a blessing and not a curse. It’s not easy, in fact it’s extremely challenging and difficult but the rewards are incredible.